Confessions of a Catholic Bride to Be | Week 10

By: Erin Kisley

According to the Oxford Dictionary, “advice” is defined as guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.

erin and joe 4

It’s actually kind of amusing, but when you become engaged (or have a child, I imagine), knowledgeable and authoritative individuals pop out of the woodwork. Suddenly, everyone who’s attended a wedding is doling out advice like participation awards in tee ball.

For those bride-to-be’s among us with a touch of pride, the temptation is to be secretly (or visibly) irritated and offended. And, I get it. This is your wedding. But, here’s my advice: Take a deep breath, smile and thank whoever is thoughtful and concerned enough to give you their time and attention. When you feel the urge to start tearing through downtown Arlington like King Kong, make an effort to remember that it’s all coming from a place of love. I know, easier said than done.

Truthfully, I have received (and continue to receive) a lot of quality advice…some of which I wish that I had listened to! Although, I have noticed that the bulk of it has more to do with our wedding and less to do with our impending marriage. In this time of transition and busyness, it’s easy to forget that there is much more to the ‘I do’ than the hydrangeas and the buttercream frosting.

So, for those who have years (or months) of wisdom to share, I would like advice that won’t expire on June 27, 2014: Guide me about how to pray with my spouse and with my (future) children. Recommend a Catholic book on womanhood. Tell me about your experience with Natural Family Planning. Help me to understand what being a loving, respectful and submissive wife actually looks like in the day-to-day. You can’t find that on; I know, I tried.

I’m not trying to downplay the practical wedding planning tips; they are so useful! But, on behalf of all brides-to-be, offer us the advice you wish someone had offered to you.

This is the tenth installment of Erin’s weekly Wednesday series on marriage preparation and its inherent struggles. An engaged woman at the humble age of 26, Erin hopes her experience will encourage and teach. Her final posts will culminate in the event that marks the purpose of it all—taking her wedding vows and tying the knot on June 27, 2014.

6 thoughts on “Confessions of a Catholic Bride to Be | Week 10

  1. Ha ha, I found people don’t stop giving the advice…it just gets more intense when you are pregnant and have kids. But since you asked…I would say setting time aside every day to talk to your husband about whats going on in your lives, even if just for 5 minutes. We had endless time when we were dating and newly married, but kids and various work situations keep us busy that sometimes we find we haven’t connected in days! – Caitlin Bootsma (P.S. I love that you are writing weekly on here – nothing like a good wedding blog:)

  2. Buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and The Sinner’s Guide to NFP by Simcha Fisher. In my (very short) experience of marriage, these have been some of the most valuable dollars I have spent.

  3. I’m in the engaged-about-toget-married-soon boat right along with you! I’m finding a lot of the resources from Dr. Greg Popcak pretty valuable – he has a book on how to “survive and thrive” in the first five years of marriage. He also has a radio show called More2Life on avemaria radio. As for me? My fiance and I have reminders set on our phones every night at 9pm to pray together. It usually turns into a “talking about our day” conversation, especially when we haven’t been able to see each other, but even if it’s a short prayer with intentions, it makes me feel like we’ve connected that day.
    Good luck with wedding prep – I’m right there along with you!
    OH!! And I almost forgot! I’ve been praying for the intercession of Bl. Louis and Zelie Martin, the parents of St. Therese of Lisieux. They were working parents whose holiness influenced all of their children!
    God bless!!

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