By: Natalie Plumb
Your significant other didn’t call you – you start to think that maybe he called another girl. Your girlfriend is very friendly, attractive and smiles at everybody she sees – you start to want to keep her from going out and talking to others because you just want her to yourself.
All of us have been jealous at one point or another in our lives. Sometimes we call our friends or significant others “flirts.” Sometimes we call ourselves that with pride.
The bottom line, what I’ve learned, is that jealously feeds an unhealthy relationship. It’s one thing if your significant other is borderline cheating on you – simply get out. Don’t bother troubling yourself with jealousy; the emotion will hurt you more than them. But if your fallback is to be jealous of someone you love, whether they are naturally more flirtatious than you are, or they are spending a lot of time with an activity or a group of people, talking to them about it always beats the feeling of, and acting on, jealousy.
A relationship that exemplifies true love naturally welcomes others into it and shares that love because of the pair’s confidence in their love for one another. A relationship that turns in on itself naturally implodes because the person you are in love with is nowhere near perfect. Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason.
An ex-boyfriend of mine used to get jealous – and act on that jealousy inappropriately – whenever I would dance (social ballroom, so none of that grinding business) with other men. I can understand his point of view, but I was doing nothing wrong, and certainly nothing sensual.
My unease and fear of any impression others might have of my (innocent) dancing faded when I began dating my current boyfriend. His instinctive response to my dancing blew my mind, gave rest to my heart and allowed me to have peace: “I love watching you dance. I can see how happy and how joyful it makes you. That’s all I want for you is that joy.”
Again – a relationship that exemplifies true love naturally welcomes others into it and shares that love because of the pair’s confidence in their love for one another. He naturally welcomes my dance partners into the picture of our friendship and relationship, creating love that explodes.
Natalie writes on Thursdays about faith, dating, relationships, and the in between. May her non-fiction stories and scenarios challenge you. May they help you laugh, cry, think and wonder.