Top Blog Posts in 2015 — Am I ready to get married? No, you are not

Each day this week we will feature a top blog post from Encourage and Teach 2015.

By: Rev. James Searby, Guest Contributor

“This is crazy! Have I lost my mind?” You keep asking yourself as you walk home. “What an incredible night. I didn’t think it could get any better and yet, it always does.” Your mind is reeling as you step into your apartment, throw down your keys and drop into bed. You’ve been dating for a while now and it just keeps getting better. The next morning, while holding on for dear life in metro car driven by a conductor with break issues, you replay every moment of last evening and it hits you. You’re in love! You can’t imagine life without the person, they are your best friend and have your heart, it’s theirs, it’s taken. You begin to ask the question. It’s a question that every heart asks at that moment. A question that will alter the fabric of your reality. A question that will answer the deepest need of your heart—the need to be loved and to love. You ask it with excitement and some fear, “Am I ready to get married?”

The Choice

This question is an important one to be sure of and the answer is even more important. Allow me to answer it for you: No, you are not. No one can ever be completely ready for marriage. In an age where we want certainty and risk reduction in every area of life, we also hope for it in our vocation.

Marriage is a lifetime of total self-sacrifice, radically loving your spouse (and, through that love, your children) in the day-in-day-out things of everyday life. There is never a break in that love, there is never a moment where it is OK to live a, “do whatever you want,” independence again.

In effect, certain so-called “independent freedoms” are lost but real interdependent freedom is found. Is anyone ever fully “ready” to live the challenge of a faithful, fruitful, permanent and totally committed type of love? No way! That kind of love can only… View the full text here.

This post first appeared on Encourage and Teach on September 1, 2015.

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